WOW! How did you do that?! PART 3

Letting Go….It’s A Process

THE TIES THAT BIND

There are several reasons we hold on to stuff and I think I have experienced all of them. The following are things I have gone through and how I overcame them. First of all, emotional attachment. I am very family oriented. I love the history of our family, I love the memories of our family. I love the idea that my grandparents were young once and what they were like then, what they were like at whatever age I currently am. Same for my parents. I love that they had a life before I was ever born. So, I was very attached (and still am to a point) to all things that were theirs. So when my grandmother passed away, I took anything and everything no one else wanted. We were about to move and I didn’t know what I would “need”. Then my mom and dad moved, again, if she was getting rid of something, who was I to say no? After that, my husbands grandmother passed, same problem. Then his parents moved from their home of over 40 yrs to an assisted living. That was his childhood home, how could we pass on anything from there. Then his father passed, and both my parents and his mom moved again. All emotional times. So, we just kept taking stuff whether we had room or if we liked it or not. What happened is my house could not be organized because I had more things than I had places to put them. My basement was a full finished basement, I should have had a nice extra living room down there, but instead I had a storage locker! Half the stuff we had, I had tucked away because either there was no room for it, it was not something I enjoyed looking at, or I did not want it to get ruined, or I had no use for it, but again, it was THEIRS so I must keep it!!!  

            Well it all started with a drawer. A couple of things that I really did not want to keep moving from drawer  to drawer, I really did not have any use for, and I had plenty of other things of hers ( I shall not mention who)  so I threw them out. Wow! The Earth kept on turning, my skin did not burn!  That did not hurt as bad as I thought it would. Found some (ok a lot) of cards from people over the years. But isn’t it rude to throw them out, I mean they did buy them or make them…. Plink…plink ..plink…in the trash they went… I did NOT experience the overwhelming guilt or shame…. Wow! On and on it went until I started getting to the bigger stuff. A suitcase of my grandmothers knitting. A blanket not quite finished, some squares for a quilt… I was never going to finish it, I had no idea how to knit. I was NOT going to pay someone to do it. I have too many finished blankets already. So I found someone at church who did love to knit. I gave her the knitting, suitcase and all. Whether she kept it, I do not know. I like to pretend in my mind she was so excited about it. And then.. I let the thought go. I am more into fabric quilts and blankets and I did keep the ones that she had finished of those. THOSE make me happy and I use them and love them and they will be part of my kids’ memories. Then came the stuff that you hate to get out because you don’t want to ruin it. But… I’m not enjoying them sitting in a box. My kids are not making memories with them in there. They will never hear the stories of them in there. So out they came… to be put into use… Emotional ties keep us from getting rid of so much. However, if there was a fire or a natural disaster, that wiped them all out, would that erase the memory of that loved one? No. In fact, I challenge you, that telling stories and sharing memories of that loved one is more important than their physical things. Keeping the MEMORY of THEM alive!   

SERVING A HIGHER PURPOSE

            We all have done it. We never even came close to growing up in the Depression Era, yet we have heard the saying, Use it Up, Wear it Out, Make it Do, or Do with Out!! If there is a frugal bone in your body, you have looked at an empty butter bowl and thought, “I can’t throw that out, it can be used for something else”. We actually do that with A LOT of things. However, the fact is, we now live in a throw away society. Unless you are planning on having a big meal with lots of left-overs (think holiday meal) then you will likely empty another butter bowl before you ever use that one  your debating on hanging on to. The same goes for other things. There is inevitably something that you are holding on to, not because YOU have use for it, but because you MIGHT one day. I challenge you again, IF that day ever comes, you can either buy another one, or probably find someone else who has one they are not using!! But chances are, that day will never come. If you have not used it in the past 5 years….your not likely to. And if Murphy’s Law comes into play, I would bet chances are you can borrow one from someone else for the ONE time you need it. GET RID OF IT!!

            I had so many craft supplies. I loved the idea of crafts, I loved they way other people’s crafts turned out. I loved collecting supplies, so fun to look at. I even came up with some really good craft ideas…however my supplies went untouched. Either lack of time or talent, often time both, would keep me from using them. If I had the time, my talent left much to be desired. It would frustrate me, even bring me to tears at time, why MY projects did not turn out as cute as my crafty friend’s did (you know who you are! You Martha Stewart of homemaking! Lol) So plain and simple they were not making me happy. They were constant reminders of my failure in crafts! My kids were not so inclined in the craft areas either so they were not being used. I FINALLY had to come to terms with getting rid of them. Painful as it was. I have not missed them…not one day! Plus I freed up room for things I do enjoy, like organizing tools! J If you just think it’s too good to just throw it out, find someone who you know WILL use it and get good use out of it. Make their day! Or sell it! If it’s in good condition and you know it’s something a lot of people would love to have, sell it and make a quick buck. Do not expect to get what you can go to the store and buy it for, people will buy new for that price, and people don’t care what you say it’s worth or what you spent, because it’s only worth what someone else is willing to pay for it. Keep the price low so it will go quick and not tempt you into keeping it.  

Oh the money invested, but never used... Gone

Surely I could use these....No but someone else could!

So cute, I loved it, but was never going to use it, so I gave it to someone who would!

 

 

OUT OF SIGHT, OUT OF MIND

            Very simply, if you have not looked at or used it in the past year… get rid of it. The only time it will matter to you is while your debating whether or not to get rid of it. Once it’s gone, you will not even think about it. I have not yet, but I plan to hang all my clothes backwards on my railing in my closet. If I wear something, it will be hung back up the right way. After a year anything still hanging backwards, will be donated to Goodwill. I was going to do the ribbon on the clothes but this seemed a lot quicker and easier. If you just discovered something while purging you forgot you had, unless you intend to create a place for it and start putting it to use, get rid of it. No excuses, just do it. You will thank me later. If you have gotten by all this time without it, you will get by even longer after you get rid of it without needing or wanting it. Trust me!!

IF IT IS BROKE, FIX IT OR FORGET IT

            Its bound to happen. You come across something that is broke. You keep planning to fix it. And yet, here it is again, another year and you have not. You have two choices. Stop everything that your doing and fix it. If you really want to keep it, fix it now and get it back into the mix. If you realllly don’t want to stop and do it, you realllly don’t want to keep it. It’s not that important to you. Because I can promise you, no matter how many good intentions you have  not gone back and fixed it for the last several months or years! THROW. IT. AWAY!!!  If it’s something you have to send out to be fixed, take it to your car NOW and take it the next time you get in your car. If you are not willing to do that, it is not important enough. THROW. IT. AWAY!!  

In Closing, I leave you with this. I tell my kids all the time, there are reasons and there are excuses. Reasons are the whys of things. Why they are the way they are. Excuses are the thing you make up to avoid doing what has to be done or needs to be done or even you want to do. Reasons are acceptable; they are a part of life. Excuses just mean you don’t want it bad enough or it’s not important enough to you….yet. When your desperate enough, the excuses will stop no matter what the reasons are.

 

**Next blog will address how to organize what’s left after all the purging.